The Weekend Bite™ Online February 2016

Hello friends, welcome to February; the month that's widely celebrated as the month of love.

However, we chose to look at something else on The Weekend Bite™, in line with our general theme so far in 2016. This one is #Transformation.

#Transformation is simply a change in substance, form, character or even situation, radically or thoroughly. Although we spoke about change last month, transformation goes further than change. It's okay to make a few changes in our lives sometimes, but there is also a time when transformation comes into play.

The metamorphosis of an insect shows the need for transformation at certain stages of life.

The journey from egg to insect is not for a day, but at each stage, it transforms in form and substance.

Likewise in our journey from babies to adults, we too must transform in substance, maturity, knowledge, character and values.

In character, transformation becomes necessary, when more than one person, including our conscience condemns what we do. 

In values and our way of life, transformation is necessary when we find ourselves entangled in undignified lifestyles with decayed values. We have to come to a point where we can completely trash out all filth and everything that constantly holds us back or weighs us down.

If we find ourselves in any environment or situation that constantly steals our joy, we need to shake it up and let transformation allow us fixate on the positive and also restore our joy.

Never let anything or anyone steal your joy. Remain positive always and hope against all hope!

Therefore, we need to examine ourselves again and find what element of our characters, lifestyles, habits, beliefs and value systems need transformation and go ahead to do just that. Once you let go and become that which you need to be, you will experience a new dimension of yourself; said the butterfly to the caterpillar.

Cheers!

 ©LAW Afolabi, February 2016.

The Weekend Bite™ Online January 2016

Hello there, I hope 2016 has been great so far. We kicked off #TheWeekendBite #2016 with #Change. 

#Change is the act or process of becoming different; a turn around from one point to another. Sometimes we choose change, other times change chooses us. On the one hand, we can decide to change our beliefs, environment, jobs or something about ourselves. On the other hand, we can experience change, whereby the circumstances in our lives change us.

At certain points in our lives we have to look at ourselves objectively. We need to be able to review our actions, know where we are and measure how far we have gone in the race towards the fulfillment of our dreams. Our ability to properly assess ourselves will determine how open we are to the idea of change.

Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, stated that “Change is the only constant in life”. We can make plans but we should be prepared for change at any point in time. We shouldn't fear it, rather we should embrace it; as there is always room for improvement.

This 2016, do a self review for the past year, yourself, goals and dreams. What have you constantly repeated without success? According to Albert Einstein, doing the same thing over again and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. Thus, we need to check what needs to change in every aspect of our lives. It doesn't have to be a total change, just in the areas that need a tweak. Concentrate on anything that is defective, even character.

In conclusion, the charge to us all, is to get ready to change today, so as to have a better tomorrow!

Cheers!

©LAW Afolabi, January 2016.

The Weekend Bite™ Online...December Recap

Happy New Year! May it be a year of the harvest, rewards and delivery for us all.

Here is a recap of #ExcerptsFromTheWeekendBite for the month of December. Our central theme was #Silverlining.

2015 was quite an eventful year, no doubt full of ups and downs. No matter the disappointments, there will be a few achievements to show that there are things we can be grateful for.

In desperate situations and when we face undue delays, we may begin to lose our conviction and doubt that we can still attain our desired outcome. However, that is no reason to throw in the towel or give up. If we are honest, there are still things we can be grateful for.

But how do you handle yourself when things seem to be falling apart? Look to your desired outcome and keep pushing to achieve it.

If we stay dedicated to our dreams instead of being disappointed by setbacks or delays, there will certainly be a silver lining for us soon.

So instead of declaring 2015 a disappointment, count your blessings, stay positive, look at your silver lining, revisit your plans and stay on course. Soon, your silver lining will become visible not to you alone, but to the whole world to witness your glorious manifestation.

Never give up, you will get there soon, someday , somehow. Keep your eyes on the prize and keep running till you get there

Have a rewarding 2016!

©LAW Afolabi, January 2016.

The Weekend Bite™ Online...November Recap

Hello Friends, It's December, the concluding month to a great year. Let it be a month of refreshing and open heavens for us all. Here's a recap of #ExcerptsofTheWeekendBite for the month of November (runs bi-weekly on Twitter).

First we spoke about #Timemanagement

Time management signifies the 'ability to use our time effectively and productively' whether at work or in our daily lives. It means putting our time to good use and ensuring maximum output.

Time waits for no one. The clock ticks whether or not we chose to lay on our beds or wallow in depression. The world moves, people get ahead and if we don't learn time management we may be left behind.

So how do we master this time management?

First, we need to discover what steals our time the most. Is it procrastination, laziness, depression or some other distraction?

Once we are able to determine this, the next step is to eliminate it. We need to force ourselves to get busy even though we don't feel like it. It's like a yoke; once broken, we are able to get into what we are meant to be doing and concentrating on same.

Having to do lists, daily goals and checks may also help. Further, introducing accountability mechanisms to keep us on track will do a lot of good. Ask yourself: At the end of the day or week, do you have a long list of things you haven't done or the opposite?

Effective time management is a life skill worth having and will be beneficial in every aspect of our lives, work inclusive. So let's get a grip of our lives today and make the best use of our time. It's the day to day journey towards fulfilling our dreams.

Then we spoke about #Goingtheextramile

Going the extra mile signifies doing much more than we are required to, putting in more effort and being more dedicated. At the start of the year, we may all have goals and plans but sadly fail to achieve much by year-ending.

This is partly because we don't do enough and partly because we fail to maintain commitment to our goals and to push ourselves. You need to come to a point where your mindset is not to be satisfactory but to be better everyday. Self motivation and improvement are key.

Of course, if we do not stop to assess ourselves, we are bound to fail or to be underachievers. Check how far you've gone and go farther. Where you see you're failing or slowing down, reassess your strategy, quicken your steps and push yourself to do more.

In the race of life, the medal doesn't go to the swift or strong but to those who ensure to do more than they could yesterday. Go the extra mile with your goals, plans or work, being the best version or yourself at all times.

Everything is possible. You can become the successful person of your dreams, but first you need to make going the extra mile your watch word. Sacrifices will have to be made to get whatever you desire.

Aim for the top,
Push yourself up, 
Don't ever stop or give up,
Until you get to that top.

In conclusion, let us work towards managing our time better, and accomplishing more than we did yesterday. If we have hitherto been only satisfactory in the pursuit of our dreams, it's time to go the extra mile. Success is ours as we do so!

The Weekend Bite™ Online...October Recap

Hello Friends, Sweet November is here, the penultimate month of the year! If there are any unfulfilled expectations or unattained goals, don’t be discouraged. A lot can happen even in the last two months that can define the entire year. Just keep believing and working hard.

Here's a recap of #ExcerptsFromTheWeekendBite for the month of October (runs bi-weekly on Twitter).

First we spoke about #Knowledge

Knowledge has been defined as 'facts, information and skills acquired through experience or education'. It is also the theoretical or practical understanding of a subject; and the application of wisdom.

Knowledge is our arsenal in life's journey. It is successfully gathered from our own experiences, the experiences of others and our learning or observations from factors in our environment.  

Knowledge goes beyond mere information. It is practical and has to be applied rightly. The amount of knowledge we have can set us apart from our peers and serve as our secret to success. People make mistakes, experience unnecessary losses and setbacks all because of the lack of knowledge. The more we learn and expose ourselves to knowledge, the greater our ability to take caution and make the best of opportunities that come our way. Suffice to say, with all your getting, get Knowledge.

In addition, it is important to connect yourself with mentors in your field. Read books from experienced authors! Live to Learn! Do not go into a marriage, business, or career blindsided! Spend time to acquire the right knowledge about your area of interest and put it to good use!

Finally, get Knowledge only from renowned sources. Don't eat from a decayed pot. It will only mislead or derail you.

The Weekend Bite™ Online...September Recap

Hello Friends, it’s been a great October so far. Wishing you extra-grace to achieve great feats this month!

Here’s a recap of September's #ExcerptsFromTheWeekendBite (now bi-weekly) on Twitter

First we spoke about #Favour. 

Favour is simply an act of kindness, goodwill or blessing that comes our way, not because we deserve it, but because the person showing that kindness, has decided to be merciful and favourable to us.

This is not some religious cliché but a reality and something we should recognise when at work in our lives. Favour can be received from authorities, organisations to which we have applied, in our offices, or even in our homes. If we humble ourselves enough, we will recognise that there are some things that come our way which we ordinarily do not deserve or qualify for.

However, Favour is not an excuse to be lazy. We must always do our best to remain diligent in all we do. Favour only opens the door for us while our diligence takes and keeps us in. No matter how much favour is working for you with your employer, if you consistently fail to do your work properly, that employer will soon put it aside to kick you out! Let us thus be mindful of our disposition and commitment wherever we find ourselves.

It is usually the diligent and kind-hearted that attract unprecedented favour. Even in such instances, they don't deserve the favour they receive; that's what makes it favour! It is not earned or demanded, it simply is.

I pray for favour upon us all, that opens doors and causes prayers to be answered. Favour from God, favour from man. Let this favour be ours this month and always.

Then we spoke about #Integrity 

Integrity signifies uprightness, truthfulness, high moral standards and honesty. It has also been defined as 'the state of being whole and undivided' as a nation i.e. territorial integrity/territorial unity.

Integrity is not based on race or religion. It's a personal decision we all must make for ourselves and our nation's future. Although Nigeria, like some other countries, has been plagued with bad leadership, corruption and other ills, all these can be traced to the lack of integrity.

Many of us would choose to blame leaders at various levels, but this problem starts with you and I. If every citizen can strive towards developing a heart of integrity and avoid treachery at every level, it will on the long run reflect in our society. If very home invests in instilling the right values into children, then they will behave differently when in the marketplace, no matter how strong the temptation or persuasion is.

In our little areas of influence can we show some more integrity? Can we have men of integrity in the police, schools, government and other offices? If each person invests in having integrity, surely there is hope for the integrity of the nation.

You may have every excuse to throw integrity out the window but chose to remain faithful in what you do. One day, favour will locate you and your integrity will speak for you.

This month of Nigeria’s independence, may the words of the second stanza of her national anthem become a definite reality! 'Oh God of creation...help our youth the truth to know, in love and honesty to grow, and living just and true...'

 In conclusion, we all need to invest in having the right values of honesty and integrity and encourage others to do the same. When the time is right, favour will locate us where we are and elevate us. 

Wishing you all the best this month. 

Cheers!

©LAW Afolabi, October 2015.

THE POWER OF CHOICE

As I scrolled through my news feed on July 26, 2015, the numerous status updates, several selfie posts, and recent news items; one headline stood out above the rest: 'Bobbi Kristina Brown dies at 22years'. Suddenly, a familiar emotion filled my heart. I remember having it once before, when I saw a similar headline three years ago: 'Whitney Houston is dead!' Was it pity or grief? Did I know them personally? Not at all! But I couldn't shake off this sadness and strong belief that these women deserved better and indeed should have had better. 

I look at the circumstances surrounding their lives and deaths, I am further convinced of that fact. Whitney Houston, a woman blessed with such an amazing voice; such great talent and such promising future. Things were going great for her; then she met a young man and fell in love. Both were in the music business and theirs seemed like a perfect match. They got married, remained over the heels in love and things couldn't have been better. Then she started looking very thin, and people started to suspect. At first, it was brushed aside because she 'had always been thin'. This continued until evidence started pouring in. Drugs! That's why she looked the way she did.

Years seemed to pass in the twinkle of an eye as it started getting worse and the public started showing concern. It was obvious that the love she cherished so much had now become a bad influence. She had adopted a lifestyle of drugs and she was now in too deep. People reached out to help her and compelled her to end the association before it was too late but she was in love and chose to stay with her man. It got a lot worse and it began to affect her career. Her health was at risk, but she chose to stay put. It went on for so long and soon we all began to forget, until we heard later on that she had finally left. She found herself again and was indeed refreshed; a new album was released to celebrate this fact. We were all happy, Whitney was back! But we wondered why it took this long, after so much damage had been done.  Nevertheless, we prayed for a restoration of her lost years.

A child had been born in the midst of all that chaos; a beautiful cherry, with so much promise. A singer and aspiring actress, we wished her success with the exploration of her talents. Unfortunately, soon came the sad news of her mother's death, found unresponsive in her home. After her death, we waited for the autopsy and prayed it wasn't drugs, but traces of same were found in her system. What depression this young girl must have had to go through!  Then she fell in love with a young man who she practically grew up with, having been raised by her mother. At some point, we believed they got married until we learnt that they weren't. Nevertheless, the relationship continued. He reportedly began to present himself as her husband to exert excessive control and take over her relations, including other instances of alleged abuse. Bobbi Kristina reportedly made a phone call to an unnamed person to say her boyfriend was not the man she thought he was and was to discuss the details before she was found unconscious in her bathtub. Her boyfriend later admitted they had both done drugs that morning before he left her. We hoped to learn more about this as we waited for her to wake up from the long coma. We all prayed for a miracle but were saddened by the news that she didn't make it. Now, the young man is being accused of the circumstances that led to her death, because he ought to have known better than to acquire drugs for her when she had a drug problem. That was the same issue her mum had and it is just too sad. Quelle dommage! We wait to see the turn of events but still wish things could have gone another way.

What happened to these women is still very relevant today and like it or not, it relates to us all. The choices we make have a lasting effect on our future and several times, our loved ones. When dating, our eyes may notice several things about our partners but instead of addressing them, we sweep them under the carpet under the guise that 'he will change', ‘I love him’ or the more common 'I will change him'. Then we get married and these problems intensify and begin to affect us in several other areas. Our careers, our self-esteem, our minds and self worth, all crumble under the weight of these issues. Victims of verbal and physical abuse choose to remain in such relationships until what is left of them is simply a shadow of themselves or nothing at all. The men will seem fine and well, while the women remain affected. Bobby Brown is still doing great today, remarried and recently had a baby. Nick Gordon is also very alive, although there are speculations that he may be tried in court for involuntary manslaughter of Bobbi Kristina Brown. Choices are delicate! So don't make a choice at your own expense! Although there was no evidence of abuse in Whitney’s case, the negative influence was quite apparent, as her drug use, which her brother confessed on Oprah to have introduced her to, only worsened in her marriage to Bobby Brown.

Don't get me wrong, I am not an advocate for divorce but I will never encourage a woman to stay put with a man who abuses her. Such relationships are best ended before marriage; but even in marriage, the issue must still be addressed and not ignored. The wife of Akolade Arowolo had suffered abuse and even had scars but she kept going back after those fights, until it led to her being stabbed to death, which Arowolo has been convicted for (even though he denies same). If your man is ready to undergo counselling with you and make effort to address whatever is causing the abuse, why not? Please save your marriage! But if you have no say and he declares himself ‘an untouchable’ where no man can speak to him, then my dear, please give him time to cool off. Your life is too important!

I remember listening to a message where the Pastor referred to a ‘Christian fellowship brother’ who was beating his wife and had been counselled against same several times, but he chose to continue. Then, a few of the fellowship men who had tried everything, received the wisdom to try a rather unconventional method. They took the man to a secure location and gave him a taste of his own medicine. He never raised his hands against his wife again! Lol! (P.S, I’m not endorsing violence and battery o!)

On the other hand, it is important for us to develop strong personal values, such that we are able to withstand negative influence and refuse detrimental options, regardless of who is introducing the option. This is very important! Whatever you get yourself into, or adopt is your decision and irrespective of contributory factors or influence from these people in your life, what you say yes or no to is entirely your choice. If you invest time in developing these strong values, they will guide your decisions, including the important decision of choosing a life partner.

They say love is blind but those are simply words. This is your life! You can't afford to close your eyes to these things. Wear a pair of glasses and choose rightly! The signs will be right there in front of you before you say 'I do'. I'm not talking about little things you can afford to compromise, after all no man is perfect. Rather, I'm referring to those major things that can eat away at you forever or demean and destroy you. Any man that is not interested in adding value to your life or encouraging and helping you to be better should take a walk! Any man that thinks that communication should only be one way and enforces his opinion with a slap or punch, should also take a walk and you should run far away from such.

Your choice is extremely important, so please open your eyes wide before you step in. Sometimes you just have to put love aside and decide what is best for you and your future, no matter how difficult that is.

RIP BOBBI KRISTINA BROWN! RIP WHITNEY HOUSTON! RIP ALL OTHER WOMEN WHO HAVE BEEN VICTIMS OF THEIR CHOICES!

With all the sincerity in my heart and a bucket full of roses!

©LAW Afolabi, September 2015                                                 

Disclaimer: The thoughts represented above are the opinion of the author, with a few references to publicly available facts and information about the persons mentioned. They thus do not represent fresh allegations about such individuals and the references have only been used to express the opinion of the author and convey the underlying message.

Sources of facts and individual pictures: dailymail.co.uk, etonline.com, people.com, mirror.co.uk, huffingtonpost.co.uk, rollingstone.com, s2smagazine.com, dailybeast.com, eonline.com.