Words of Emotion

When I look back
To the days of my youth
I see your face
Which was with me all through

Never for once
Did u leave me in my struggle
Every day and night
You were beside me
When I needed help with my school work
You were with me
When I needed help with my intellectuals
You never left me

But death soon snatched you away
So soon, too soon
Too soon to say goodbye
Too soon, I can't help but cry

And then when i needed help with my school work
I was alone
When I needed to be talked to
I was alone still
No more stories and tales were told
Stories of the recent past or of old

And so, we tried our best
To bury you the best way it seemed fit
We went through all that we could
To give you the edifying burial you deserved

But you were already gone
You had left to the world beyond
You had left to be with God on high
You had left without saying goodbye
All that was left was your withering body
From dust you came, to dust you returned

Your grave lies at the cemetery
Sometimes, I’m there to speak to you
About all that troubles me
Believing that you can somehow hear me

But of what use is speaking to your bones?
Of what use is speaking to a grave?

Your spirit is with the Lord
But you father are in my heart
So I know these words you can hear
I know my pains, you can feel
And I know you speak to me
I hear you, I hear you say
"Hush my little one, don't cry
Because I never left your side
And with you I will always be
Till me meet 'face en face' to part no more"

Now I can smile
For I have heard those words
Which you still speak to me
I smile at the thought
That I will be reunited with you one day

I will make sure
I get to where you are
Up above in paradise
Oh father, precious father,
Wait for me, wait for me!

© Lola Agbaje-Williams: 19th June, 2004

A LETTER TO MY SAVIOUR

Grace Redefined,
Mercy Street,
Lagos.

My Lord God & Master,
Throne Room,
Heaven Headquarters.

Dear Lord,

WORDS FROM MY HEART

I Know I’ve been empty for so long. I know I was once on the right track but I lost my way. I gave in to the desires of my flesh, in search of something I had all along.

My desire for love and affection led me to make the wrongest mistakes- things that eat me up inside each time I remember them; one sin leading to another all in a bid to cover up. I put on a plastic face each time I was in a gathering of ‘perfect people’ or ‘church people’, I should call them. Everyone thought I was perfect, everyone except me, those who led me on and you.

I thought I was never going to be able to come out, I thought I was never going to be able to make amends. I thought I was going to keep on crying myself to sleep. I was constantly tortured of how I had made nothing of my values; and of course, let myself and you down as well.

So I kept on with my empty life; like a drifter, moving from one place to another, void of any feelings whatsoever.My life was empty and so may grounds in it lay fallow. I had lost all hope until. . .

You saved me! When I least expected it, you came for me and brought me out of the miry clay. You cleansed me and put your garment of purity on me. You taught me how I ought to live. You told me the changes I had to make. You said “Sow for yourself in righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek me until I come and shower righteousness on you”

So I said goodbye to my old life, the way I used to live, the people I used to live it with. It was hard; I thought I couldn’t make it without them. But you O lord had thought me that all the love and attention I needed lay with you.

I made changes in my life, every area I had left to be run by the devil, I handed over to you. I meditated on your word and spent quality time with you, receiving insight each time on how I was to live my life. My old life was gone; my new life begun. I became a vessel unto your honour and an instrument of your peace. And in return, you gave me more blessings than I could imagine. You filled my mouth with singing and my heart with joy. You used me as an instrument to bless others as well.

Oh God my Saviour, I’m so lucky to have you. My life was once empty lying fallow, but you came and made it evergreen.

Thank you for your love. Thank you for care. Help me to keep my life ever-green, the sowing constant, the reaping timely and the harvest continuous. Let the rain of your righteousness keep falling on me, that I may be acceptable in your sight.

Till I write to you again, keep being you and help me be better than I am.

P.s. I love you lots!

. . . Your child


©‎ 5th ‎April,2009

Living the life God wants

Most times People have clear pictures of who they are, what they like, and what they don’t. They believe in descriptions of their personalities, their strengths and weaknesses; happily quoting such descriptions of themselves based on their ‘signs’ dictated to them by horology.

For some others, what they believe of themselves is tied to what some important people in their lives have said about them; perhaps while growing up, among peers, among school mates and friends and even those they meet for the first time. While the rest are affected by perceptions people have of them- both good and bad.
All of these influence the way we think, speak, act and relate.

But enough with all this talk of who others say you are, the question of utmost importance is this: Who does God say you are? What is the mind of God concerning you? Who did God design you to become?
If we pause to consider these questions, we will find that whatever description of ourselves which we have in our heads is nothing compared to God himself and who He says we are. If we discover who we are in God, then everything else will become irrelevant; because the one who created us in his own image must definitely have the final say.

Our lives can have no meaning until we discover who we are in God and who he created us to be. I for one used to be extremely disturbed about what others thought/ spoke of me; and I was never able to find myself/ be set free of my emotional torment until I discovered who I was and still am in God.

The pertinent question here is what is your life’s purpose? A life lived void of purpose is no life at all. Therefore we must discover what this purpose is and take practical steps towards achieving it.

The Holy Bible in Jeremiah 29: 11 reads “For I know the thoughts I have for you; says the Lord; thoughts of good and not of evil, to bring you to an expected end” – (KJV); “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”- (NIV). Deductively, since our Heavenly Father has declared to have the perfect plan for our lives, we need to seek his face to discover what this plan is and begin to work in line in that plan. This we cannot do, if we have no standard relationship with him.

Permit me to reemphasize that before we can live a life of purpose, we must first discover what our purpose is. How then do we discover this purpose? The answer is simple: we must inquire from the Giver of all purpose- God himself- this is an incontrovertible fact!

The truth of the matter is that, the amount of revelation we receive from God is a function of the quality of our relationship with him and how much time we spend in his presence. It is in his presence, that we receive insight, knowledge and direction. It is through studying his Word that we learn basic principles that guide us in living the life God wants-a life of Purpose.

A good friend of mine once said “Our Purpose is made up of our duty to God, duty to our family (marriage) and duty to mankind.” However, a man is never really fulfilled until his entire purpose is fulfilled as one. It’s not something that can be segmented or part-fulfilled; rather it is something that must be carried out with basic insight, direction, dedication and divine wisdom-which we can only receive from a constant quality fellowship and relationship with God. We must spend sufficient time in his presence, in worship, praise and prayer, seeking his face continuously, constantly and consistently.

At every junction on the Road to achieving purpose; in every area and at every stage of our lives, God will give us various specific assignments which we must carry out, if we are to truly fulfil our purpose. Hence, our life of purpose cannot be lived outside God.

God wants you to get closer to him, he longs to have you ask him questions and he, reply as well, he desires an open and constant relationship with you, whereby he can communicate effectively his mind to you, and direct the course of your life.
I admonish you therefore, even as you forge ahead in life, to give your life over to God to be used by him, to take practical steps towards knowing him better, to surrender yourself to his good and perfect plan for your life, to discover his purpose for you and finally to live the life He wants- A LIFE OF PURPOSE.

You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength! (Philippians 4:13)

© March, 2010

Ode to IMNUB (February 15th 1983- September 6th 2009)

Sometimes I wonder why certain things happen
I try long and hard, but I cannot quite get the reason
Some people desire better, deserve better and are wished better
But instead they get less or even nothing
Like an early grave, a brutal death
They could have only wished for a bright future
The fulfilment of their greatest dreams
But how can they fulfil any of them from an early grave?

When u lose someone you care about
It’s hard for you to let go
You cry and blame God everyday
And just quite understand why he,
Who has all the powers over the heavens and the earth,
Couldn’t just take a quarter of a second,
Just a little effort to save him/ her?

But the ways of God are not to be questioned or even understood
For he will have mercy on who he will have mercy
And compassion on whom he will show compassion

One thing am I sure of now,
Life is temporal
One minute you’re here, and the next minute you’re gone
I have to ensure that my life has meaning,
If not I’ll be full of regrets when I’m gone

The pleasures we desire on earth are all useless
We should all be storing up our treasures in heaven;
Instead of fighting and scheming for those on earth,
Our only thought should be on securing a first-class visa to the City of God
Where he has massive mansions for all who would accept him and do his will

I for one want to live for this God, be used and directed by him;
So that one day, I may enter into the perfect rest he has made available for me

Will you?

I’m sure you have a friend pleading with you to drop all the crap you’re into and follow Christ,
But your constant reply is “God and I are cool; don’t worry, I’ll do that later, not now”
How do you know there’s a later? Or when it is?
For some people, it’s in their sleep, others in the bath tub/ shower, when they are walking on the road, driving, in a bus, or on that bike?
For some its stray bullets; for others it’s a simple sickness like a headache that takes away

How do you know, when your later will be?

Don’t keep for later, what you can get done today
Allow Christ in, to dine and remain with you
Surrender your all to him
And let him rule your world. . .
It’s a decision you’ll never regret

Step1: acknowledge that you’re a sinner and confess your sins to God
Step 2: State that you believe Jesus died for your sins on the cross and offers you eternal life
Step 3: Accept Jesus as your personal lord and Saviour, invite him in, and let him cleanse you of all he considers filth within you
Step 4: Maintain a constant prayer/worship& praise life and never forsake the fellowship of brethren- attend a bible-believing church, pay your tithes. . .
The Holy Spirit will reveal the rest to you!
God bless you!

Whenever our time comes, we must be ready to move on
So why don’t you start asking God to show you what he will have you do?
So you don’t leave this earth without doing any

Lord I pray that you reveal your will and desires to me that I may fulfil them (Amen)

Life is solitary, brutish and short . . . Thomas Hobbes
C’est la vie!
Make the best of it . . .

And so Olubunmi Gboyega Onanubi, you will be greatly missed and cherished . . .
May your gentle soul rest in perfect peace
Even if it was taken from you by force!


Loads of love. . .

Lola

©September 7th 2009

Losing loved ones

This is by far one of the toughest experiences anyone could ever go through. To have someone you care about literally slip out of your fingers. It’s right then you begin to consider believing in a fantasy world where all your wishes could come true; and you could wish such person back alive.
As Christians, it’s more comforting to know that you’d see such person again someday; where you can truly say for a fact that he/she was a Christian. Although the Holy book warns us not to judge a person and leave the determination of who will go to heaven or hell to the Almighty himself; knowledge of such person’s lifestyle and activities before death might lead your subconscious to make a conclusion as to the destiny of such person’s soul.
If you strongly feel that the person remained a Christian till death, you allow your faith in the Resurrection comfort you. But what if you don’t? What if you have no basis to believe that such person died a believer? And that he backslid moments away from his death? How does that make you feel? Crushed isn’t it!
No matter how hard you try, you can’t quite shake off the fear that you’ll never see such person again because his soul is lost forever. How do you reconcile yourself to such fact?
Now, imagine how God feels about every soul he ever lost to Satan. God created us all and loves us equally. He desires that everyone be saved; but scarcely does that happen. In fact it seems that more people get lost than saved these days and it just makes me wonder how many times God’s heart gets broken each time someone does stuff to hurt him and eventually gets lost for good.
Are we also adding to God’s heartache? Before Jesus ascended into heaven; he gave us the great commission to go into the world and preach the good news to everyone. But how many of us actually do that? How many of us ever spoke to anyone about Jesus? How many of us have actually encouraged our friends who we know are doing wrong to stop and turn it all over to God? How many of us have judged others, and yet failed to judge our own lives? I’m guilty and so are you!
The number one way to minister to someone is through your lifestyle. If an unbeliever fails to see any difference in the way he lives his life and yours then how will he ever see any need to change ways? Our lives should preach the good news to people. The reason the early Christians got the name “Christians” was because people saw that they were like Christ. Can anyone see Christ in you?
Yes, we have lost loved ones one time or the other but that is nothing compared to what God is going through. He already made the ultimate sacrifice of love for us; now it’s left to us to do the rest and make our own contribution towards reducing the vast number of souls that are lost every day.
You need to find out what God will have you do to spread his word- this is your purpose on earth. Ask him to reveal it to you. Everything we do is a seed which God will water in the heart of the person concerned. However we must try our best to plant those seeds; so that at the end of the day those souls won’t be lost.
If you’ve ever lost someone or know someone who lost someone, then pledge to spread God’s word to ensure those you know are saved, starting with yourself!

© June 6th, 2010.